Month: January 2006


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I would wake up in the middle of the night, overwhelmed by an intensifying sense of helplessness weighing me down.  I’ll stare out of the window for a really long time, consumed by sadness and trying to find a solution to all these problems.

There is no motivation in life for me any longer.  As far as I can see it, my future is as bleak as a white paper.

People have seen me as a jovial and easygoing person but in reality, it’s a facade that I’m trying to portray.  Deep down inside, I’m sensitive and I cry easily but I guess it’s a sign of weakness that I do not wish to show.

There is a fear.  The fear of being hurt once again.  Long ago, I value my friends and I treat every friendship with utmost sincerity but then, there are people who make use of and hurt me deeply, and very gravely.

I have lost all faith in mankind ever since, who would stoop at nothing to get what they wanted, even at the expense of sacrificing the most important elements of their life. Love, Friendship, Humanity…

Sometimes I wonder, would death, bring an end to all these?  I don’t know, seriously.  In the past, I would always hold back when I thought of Dexter.  Would anyone love him as much as I do?  Who would be there to take care of his every needs?  What will happen to him if I die?

But now that he’s gone, I don’t know what to do anymore.

Missing You

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Guess what? Its the Year of the Dog!!

But something is missing without you around…

Brien misses you…

Though you were sick, you still smile for me

You have fallen, and unable to get up anymore…

When will we ever meet again?

And when will you be home once more?

upset and amused

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I just wanted to touch on what has happened during the past few days.  Remember about the entry when I witnessed a young cat being crushed by the LRT?  I was so badly shaken by it that I couldn’t concentrate in class the whole day.

My mind keeps drifting back to the LRT station where the incident just keep replaying itself over and over repeatedly in my mind.

When I relate it to some of my friends, all they said were, “Aiyah, it’s just a cat what…”

Just a cat??  They have no idea how traumatized I was.  Not because I witnessed the whole thing and got frightened by it, but I hate to see animals die.

Animals are such wonderful friends.  They love you for who you are and not what you are.  Whether you are fugly or a pauper, they love you all the same.  They do not talk back nor backstab you but love you unconditionally without any returns.

How sweet is that?  Can you ever find such qualities in men?  Hell, NO!

And to think that I just did a presentation about Pet Ownership to them the day before.  Judging by this, they should have figured out how important animals meant to me so how could they have said something so insensitive to upset me further?

The world is such a heartless and cold-hearted place.

On Friday, while waiting for Edmund and Henvey to finish class to watch <<Сº¢²»±¿II>>, I saw Clarence at the Foyer.

For info, Clarence was my NITEC classmate in the Retail class last year.  He was just a pathetic attention seeker cum braggart who simply didn’t know how to brag convincingly.

He claims that after graduating from NITEC last year, he went to help out at his auntie’s publisher in Australia.  Fine, let’s give him the benefit of doubt that his auntie really owns a publisher in Australia.

But the part about him being in charge of 3 departments of ang-mohs is really hard for me to believe.  For goodness sake, he can’t even speak proper engrish without splattering saliva all over your face. 

Next, he claims that he was a badminton Champion based in Australia.   Yeah right, he couldn’t even beat me at the game except that he could jump higher than me due to his long legs.  If he is indeed an Australian Champion, then what does that makes me?

He mentioned that he was once involved in a bicycle accident and his eyeballs actually roll out!  He then ran after his eyeballs and pop them back into the socket!  Now, he could freely take out his eyeball and wash it under the tap!  How cool is that!

No.  He is NOT joking.  He is dead serious when he said that!

I NOt stupid 2

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Got free tickets from the school for I Not Stupid 2.  The show was starting at 3.15 pm but Henvey and Edmund only finished lesson at around 2.40 pm.

We only managed to hail a cab at 3 pm and we piah down to Shaw Tower.  Reached there at exactly 3.15 pm and upon entering the theatre, Jack Neo was there addressing the audience.

I didn’t know it was a special screening for ITE students and staffs.  The theatre was literally booked by the ITE! 

After finishing his speech, Jack Neo walked back to his seat and walked passed me.  He paused for a while to turn and looked at me.  Got a role to offer me a role is it?

After the show ended, we went to wait for the lift but when the lift door opened, Jack Neo was inside with some other people.

We didn’t enter but took the stairs instead. 

I don’t usually like Jack Neo‘s movies, but this one was particularly very nice.  In fact, it was much nicer than the prequel.  Perhaps it’s because Mark Lee and Marcus Chin are NOT in this movie?

Kitten crushed by LRT

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I had a terrible day. 

This morning, I was waiting for the train at the LRT station when suddenly, I saw a rat jumped onto the tracks.  A young cat was hot in pursuit and jumped onto the track as well.

From a distance, the train was fast approaching.  I panic but there was nothing I could do. I can’t possibly jump in to save him? If the cat had crouched low and stayed still, the train would have passed over him and he might not have come to any harm. However, he was probably frightened by the vibration of the tracks.

He tried jumping back onto the platform but just at that instant, his body was caught in between the platform and the train and he was being dragged along like a ragged doll while spinning at a very high speed.

Eventually, his body flew into the air and landed back onto the tracks with a thud.  Any visible signs of life could not be detected.

I wasn’t prepared for all this drama early in the morning at 5.55 am.  The impact caused the whole train to rattle as the sleepy passengers inside had baffled looks on their faces wondering what’s going on.

The scene keeps replaying in my mind and I feel so sick just thinking about it.



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The elections is round the corner.  Steve Chia and his supporters turned up outside my flat earlier this week, to promote his party while I was sprawled on the sofa, in my most ungracious manner watching the telly.

I had a shock.  I had just woken up and my hair was pointing in all directions.

He stirred up a controversial in the papers some time back, when he was discovered taking topless pictures of his maid, and his fetish of posing nude for the camera. 

He looked very much like a decent man and was even once hailed as one of Singapore‘s most promising opposition politician by PM Goh.

The most recent news about him was of a traffic offence which he had commited near the junction of Bishan and Braddel.  His car has collided with a bus.

I last met him with his wife and kid at Bt Timah Nature Reserve (or was it MacRitchie?) when we went hiking for the SC Orientation earlier this year.  He was very friendly, waving at us when we walked past him.

Anyway, am glad that he’s back in elections again.  We need more ‘stimulations’ in the political scene.  When there’s competition, there’s improvement for the people.

Now is the period to ‘request’ for more sheltered walkways to the bus stops and the lift to stop at every floor from your current MP

I know. I AM sooooooo evil…

sick of Co

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I woke up at 4am this morning because I have to be in school by 6.30 am.  There will be a CNY concert after assembly and the CO will be performing the first item hence, we had to be in school early to practice to warm-up. 

Angeline was late and I told the conductor that she might be working the previous night and couldn’t wake up in time.  I’m appalled by the conductor’s remarks, when he said, “it’s none of my business” after I told him that Angeline works as a bartender and sometimes works late into the night.

Angeline might be at fault for being late but how could him, as a teacher, say such a thing?  Shouldn’t a teacher show concern for his students? Shouldn’t a teacher find out why his student, and a female one, is working as a bartender, sometimes finishing work at 3 am and still had to attend school at 7.30 am?  What kind of a teacher is he, to spout such hurtful comments just because his student is late? 

It doesn’t take a moron to know how he garnered nil respect from me and my zero faithfulness to the club. 

Frankly speaking, the passion is dying in me.  Whatever little interest I still had in chinese music was totally diminished by him.  He was self-centered, conceited, bad tempered and high-egoistic.

He is always calling students names, throwing shoes at them, and ordering them to buy food and drinks for him.  Mister, you are paid to teach us!  Not making a clown out of yourself!

He even repeatedly forces me into joining his personal orchestra outside the school because of my 16 years old music background.  When I refused, because practices are held during the weekends, he replied that he don’t care and he expects to see me reporting for his practice on time.

Of course, I ignored him and didn’t attend it.  I would only attend his lesson during official school hours.  I’m sorry, but any practices after that, I am NOT INTERESTED!  The weekends are my own personal times and I have better things to do!

The reason why I am still around is because of a promise that I gave to Mrs Chew.  She approached me and I promised her that I would stay on to help out because the club is on the verge of breaking up?

The Chinese Orchestra is not a very popular CCA in our school as it’s not cool and hip.  Furthermore, it takes time to train a student from someone who knows nothing about music to one who could really play an instrument really well.

It would have taken a gifted whiz kid at least a year to do that but by that time, he would have almost graduated from his one-year course already.

fuck you!

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An unexpected incident took place this morning during morning assembly.  As usual, I was standing outside the admin office manning the PA when I heard the cleaner yelling, “FUCK YOU!” at the Admin Head, Mr Teo.

Mr Teo was mentioning something about it being past 7am already and he (the cleaner) still hasn’t swept the foyer yet.  One thing led to the other and the two ended up in a heated argument.

At that time, the both of them were standing outside the admin office quite near to me.  Mr Teo promptly raised his finger at the cleaner, at a lost of words and he stormed back into the office. 

The cleaner followed him inside where more FUCK YOUs erupted.  Mr Teo must have felt very indignant and embarrassed to be yelled at with vulgarities in front of all his subordinates!

The cleaner was in his seventies and he speaks very good English.  He was always wearing a purple fisherman hat and he was very polite.  He would always greet the teachers when he came into our class to empty our dustbins.

I guessed something must have happened to garner such a big reaction from him? 

Carom Competition

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The carom competition was held today at the Student’s Hub at 4.30pm.  We had a overwhelming number of people signing up during the last few days but only a handful actually turned up for the competition.

We should have imposed a refundable fee during registration so that people do not sign up for fun.  It really wasted alot of our time and resources!

Not that I really did alot of work. In fact, I did nothing much cause Managers are not supposed to help.  We can only assist and offer advice.

This is to train the members as well as for us to gauge who are the ‘performers’ and who are the ‘slackers’.

We have got our answers now.

There would be another round of competition next Wednesday and the overall winner would be born then!

the two hooligans

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On Monday, two  empty packet drinks were found left inside the lounge corner and it was reported to me.  After asking around, the identity of the last two persons using the lounge was confirmed.

So, I wrote their names on a piece of paper, attached them onto the packet drinks and left it inside the EXCO corner for their Manager to take action against them the next day.

I have wanted to clarify with them about it this morning but unfortunately, I was away for the CCA Road Show and by the time I was back in the SC Room, the matter was already blown out of proportion.

From what I understand from their Manager, they knew that I was the one who had written that note but why didn’t they come to me and clarify? 

If they feel that I am not being fair to suspect them, then are they being fair to my EXCOs by taking it out on them?  My EXCOs do not know anything about it!

What did my VP do wrong? All she did was to say ‘Bye’ to them, and she was kenna stared at. What did my House Manager do, to have them talking to her in that disrespectful manner? And what did my Relations Manager do wrong, to have them DEMANDED an apology from him??

If they wanted an apology, why didn’t they come to me?

Seriously, I have no idea why they are being so agitated? Unless its guilty concious? Of course they have the right to feel angry if they are wrongly accused but I feel that the level of their anger is not justified to the severity of the matter. 

If they are found guilty, the most is we’ll just give them a verbal warning and comes to worst, we’ll just ban the consuming of food inside the SC room

However, let me reiterate, they are only under suspicion; NOT found guilty yet!

They can always come to me and defend themselves if they did not do it but they are letting their emotions rule over their head instead of taking control over their emotions, much to the point that they are being too aggressively-defensive.

Are the EXCOs that unreasonable that they can’t talk to us nicely?  Remember the time when one of them needs to take care of a wheelchair-bound classmate and requested for that friend to be brought into the SC Room?  Did we say refused?  Did we say NO? 

Now the problem is not that I didn’t give them a chance to defend themselves.  In actual fact, I haven’t even got the chance to talk to them yet and they have already made a mountain out of a molehill.

We do not need hooligans in the SC.

If they want me to apologize, can they also graciously apologize to my Vice-President, House Manager and Relations Manager