Four Years On, The Pain Lingers…

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We wish we could have told you,
in words you’d understand,
We wanted you to stay with us.
This wasn’t what we’d planned.

We wish somehow to tell you,
How empty we now feel.
A part of us went with you,
A part that time can’t heal.

We wish we’d once more hear you,
in your softly, rumbling purr,
to hold you on our laps again
and stroke your golden fur.

We wish we had you back again,
to fill this empty space.
But one day we’ll be together
in a far, far better place.

Kristen Sharer

I have decided to compiled all the past posts from the day Dexter fell sick, up to the day he passed on, all together in one post. Since Xanga doesn’t allowed, I guess I  just have to do it manually. That’s Xanga for you, folks.

While reading through the past entries, the emotions within me has been stirred up again, as crisp images of the events unfolds in my mind. It seems like only yesterday when it happened.

Not a single day has passed without thinking of him and it grieves me to recall how frail he has turned into during his last days.

I only hope he is in a better place now, chasing butterflies and romping with all his doggy friends over at the rainbow bridge.

The battle:
Jul 25 2005 Health going downhill
Jul 27 2005 Initial diagnosis
Jul 28 2005 The first night away from home
Jul 29 2005 Come home please
Jul 30 2005 Discharged!
Jul 31 2005 Recuperating at home
Aug 06 2005 The follow up
Aug 18 2005 A turn for the worst
Aug 19 2005 Back to the vet
Aug 23 2005 Stubborn boy refuses to take his medication
Aug 28 2005 An update on Dexter’s recovery
Sept 07 2005 Second opinion with Dr Heng
Oct 02 2005 Spending time together
Oct 26 2005 Birthday eve
Oct 27 2005 A turn for the worst
Oct 28 2005 Hospitalized again
Oct 28 2005 The visit
Oct 30 2005 Discharged
Oct 31 2005 The first steps in weeks

Acceptance and Closure:
Nov 02 2005 Farewell, my dear friend
Nov 03 2005 Thanks for the consolences
Nov 06 2005 A little thought means so much
Nov 07 2005 “Dexter where?”
Nov 09 2005 The seventh day
Nov 12 2005 Home again
Nov 13 2005 The scare
Nov 17 2005 Are you there?
Nov 26 2005 A special gift
Mar 31 2007 In dreams he came to me
Jul 21 2007 I misses you
Mar 23 2008 What do you do with a bored 5 year old on a boring Sunday afternoon
Mar 31 2008 Oh noooooo!
Apr 02 2008 Operation saving Dexter

1st Death Anniversary
2nd Death Anniversary
3rd Death Anniversary
4th Death Anniversary
Fifth Death Anniversary

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21 thoughts on “Four Years On, The Pain Lingers…

    kenwooi said:
    November 2, 2009 at 12:31 am

    sorry to hear that =(

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 2, 2009 at 12:36 am

    @kenwooi – Thanks, Ken.

    tekkaus said:
    November 2, 2009 at 3:15 am

    Hang in there bro. I’m sure Dexter don’t wanna see you sad either. 🙂

    starberri92 said:
    November 2, 2009 at 3:32 am

    i think he’s in a better place now.

    jg said:
    November 2, 2009 at 4:57 am

    wow! you really had loved dexter so much. it’s hard to let him go. sorry to hear that.

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 2, 2009 at 8:00 am

    @tekkaus – I’m trying very hard. Thanks for the thought.

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 2, 2009 at 8:04 am

    @starberri92 – I hope rainbow bridge really exists where all dogs can go to in their afterlife. A place without sufferings, pain and hunger.

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 2, 2009 at 8:04 am

    @jg –  Thanks for the thought!

    tobaby said:
    November 2, 2009 at 10:12 am

    Hi Peewee
    I had read through all the entries on Dexter when my Baby had just passed on last year, tears just flow down. Today, I read again, tears still flow down. I can anticipate everything, the roller coaster when our babies fell sick till the time they bid goodbye. And the pain still lingers time after time…… It’s hard to ease the pain, isn’t it? *hugs*

    kelvin said:
    November 2, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    Sigh…pets are just like family…can nvr forget them and the pain when they left…

    starberri92 said:
    November 2, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    i believe it exists. a place of peace and rest.

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 2, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    @tobaby – The feeling was intense yesterday and the rain just make it worst.

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 2, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    @kelvin – Exactly! Can’t understand how some people could abandon or abuse their pets.

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 2, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    @starberri92 – It has to be! 🙂

    serene said:
    November 2, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    I can imagine how painful it was and still is now coz I dread that day to come as I have a dog too.  I knew I wun be able to bear the pain.  Jus remember that Dexter is in a better place with lotsa company and fun.  U take care too 🙂

    nicdanic said:
    November 3, 2009 at 3:15 am

    “Now the Hardest thing to dois say Bye Bye”I bet he will be in a peaceful place

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 3, 2009 at 3:20 am

    @serene – Yep. It hurts so much I don’t think I can go through it again. No more dogs for me.

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 3, 2009 at 3:24 am

    @nicdanic – You are right. It’s really hard to say Bye Bye…

    Chuchu said:
    November 4, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    I only hope your pain lessens as the passing of years goes by. Remember the good times you spent with him. I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted any other owner but you. 

    dead_cockroach said:
    November 5, 2009 at 3:31 am

    @Chuchu – Now thinking back, I really regret how I used to scold and punish him when he misbehaved. How I wish I could carry and caress him in my arms again.

    junsern said:
    November 17, 2009 at 2:15 am

    I feel your pain and sorrow bro. I know how it means when you lose someone that has been so close and loyal to you. I myself can get over my doggie’s death too… half a year already… god bless!

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