Month: October 2006
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘Nothing’ usually end in “Fine”
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.
Oh, and before we forget. “Whatever” is a woman’s way of saying *!#@ YOU!
Before you ladies started blaming us men for being insensitive and unromantic, perhaps you would like to understand us a bit more? We have always heard “The Rules” from the female side, how about hearing it from the guys’ side of the story for once?
THE GUY’S RULES
Please note…these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria‘s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “Nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success – Henry Ford
A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind – Bill Bethel
Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much – Helen Keller
So… which of the above are we capable of??
And if he didn’t, he never was.“
need whereas women spent unnecessarily on what they want.
This brings us back to the money issue: No money how to let them indulge in their favourite hobby (shopping)?
Most of the time, women actually knew what they wanted but they wanted reaffirmaion from their man. They only want to hear what they WANT to hear.
Well, this incident actually happened in school this morning. One of my EXCOs was taking a picture of himself and he was absolutely sure that nobody was behind him. However, after taking the picture, he found something creepy looking over his shoulder!
The picture is kind of creepy and I’ve inserted some spaces below so those timid people can avoid looking at it and not be frightened unnecessarily.
If you are bold enough to see and not be troubled by nightmares, then scroll down.
Are you sure you want to see the picture?
There’s still time to turn back?
I was preparing to make Sweet & Sour Pork for dinner when I discovered a bloodied panty liner packed underneath the piece of pork which I’ve brought from the supermarket! It was darn disgusting and I don’t understand how sick some people could get by putting something so unhygenic inside!!
I brought the pork back to the supermarket and demanded an explanation. The store manager was shocked at the grisly find and he apologised to me non-stop. However, that was not enough to douse the fire in me and I threw the piece of pork onto the cashier for everyone to see.
By that time, a small crowd had already gathered round and the housewives were exchanging gossips with each other. Seeing this, the manager invited me into the office where I was given more apologies and offered $100 of shopping vouchers as a compensation.
Did he think that I would still dare to buy any more things from this supermarket after this incident? I felt sick just thinking about it!
The pork belly
Horrors of Horrors!!
Ok lar, ok lar... if you still can’t tell, this is a FICTIONAL entry. I made it all up! That is NOT a panty liner and I do not know what you call that thing but it is NOT a panty liner. This is just a joke.
I”M BORED, can?
I went to the Post Office to pick up this parcel a few weeks ago…
It’s a book which I boought from Bubbles‘ mum.
Singapore Dog, written by Dr Lennie Lee, Dexter‘s first vet at the Animal Clinic (Sunset Way)
The cover dog reminded me of Dexter. He sure resembled Dexter in this angle.
Unfortunately, just the first day and we had already received feedback from some of the teachers that a few of the Probation Councilors merely mumbled through their Oath and the EXCOs were later questioned how did we come to select those people as Councilors? I do not know exactly who are the Councilors identified but it seems some of those being pointed out actually came from Mr Chua‘s class.
This brings us back to the previous post where I had already mentioned that there are always people who are keeping a close watch at us in whatever we do. There are people who can’t wait to see us fail and make a laughing stock of ourselves and this is why I’m always so particular about my Councilors‘ discipline and our SCs’ reputation on the whole.
Now, I hope they understand why during the training, we keep asking them to recite their Oath loudly. We are definitely not tekan-ing nor making a fool out of them as there’s always a reason behind everything we do.
To my members who are reading this, I hope that you could understand what I have been doing is all for the good of the Council and not that I’m finding fault with you guys. I have only like six more months with you guys and there’s only so much I could do on my own. I desperately need to have the co-operation of everybody for the SC to be united as one as the future of the SC is really in your hands after I leave the school.
No one can make us fall if we do not give them a chance to. Remember;
UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL
I was at a lost of what to say.? How should I reply her?? I didn’t know their reason for doing that and I do not want to presume but many a times, people are always watching our (SC) every move.? All I can say is, as a Councilor, we should at all times be mindful of our actions and behaviour in public.? Not only did they fail to uphold their image, they also create extra problem for their teacher, whom I’m sure already has enough problems to deal with at home.? If only his students could be more sensible and help lighten his burden by not creating more problems?
Anyway, the aim of this post was not to blame my Councilors but rather, it serves as a reminder for all SC members that whatever they do (especially if they had flouted any school rules), there are eyes? e v e r y w h e r e? so, it doesn’t matter whether the EXCOs or teachers are there to ‘catch’ them or not as words will still come to our ears.? As the saying goes, “You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide…”
Tomorrow shall be the official Oath Taking Ceremony for my Probation Councilors who will be receiving their ties in front of the whole school.? Please, do us all proud!
?STAND TALL AND BE ABOVE ALL!