Month: October 2006
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘Nothing’ usually end in “Fine”
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.
Oh, and before we forget. “Whatever” is a woman’s way of saying *!#@ YOU!
Before you ladies started blaming us men for being insensitive and unromantic, perhaps you would like to understand us a bit more? We have always heard “The Rules” from the female side, how about hearing it from the guys’ side of the story for once?
THE GUY’S RULES
Please note…these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria‘s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “Nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success – Henry Ford
A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind – Bill Bethel
Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much – Helen Keller
So… which of the above are we capable of??
And if he didn’t, he never was.“
need whereas women spent unnecessarily on what they want.
This brings us back to the money issue: No money how to let them indulge in their favourite hobby (shopping)?
Most of the time, women actually knew what they wanted but they wanted reaffirmaion from their man. They only want to hear what they WANT to hear.
Well, this incident actually happened in school this morning. One of my EXCOs was taking a picture of himself and he was absolutely sure that nobody was behind him. However, after taking the picture, he found something creepy looking over his shoulder!
The picture is kind of creepy and I’ve inserted some spaces below so those timid people can avoid looking at it and not be frightened unnecessarily.
If you are bold enough to see and not be troubled by nightmares, then scroll down.
Are you sure you want to see the picture?
There’s still time to turn back?